Hopelessly Devoted To You

So, I've had the idea of sort of cataloguing my wardrobe, or at least my favorite pieces. I'm not sure exactly why I decided to do this, but I really like the concept of having pictures of the things I wear every day as individual pieces, without the context of being part of an outfit.
I decided to start by documenting my shoe collection, because (as I'm sure you all know) I really love shoes, and I have quite a few of them. I began with my oxfords, which you can see below!

Campers, a bunch of money at Gravity Pope.
I love love love these shoes! The leather is buttery soft, and they're so comfortable.

These were about $5 at Value Village, and they had never even been worn!

I ordered these from Urban Outfitters last year, and while I do really like them, I hardly wear them because they sort of kill my feet. They're also the only high heel oxfords I own, which surprised me for a moment, since I sort of feel like I should have more than that.

These are also from Urban Outfitters. They're very shiny, as I'm sure you can see. Every time I put them on, I feel like dancing, which I usually do.

These were about $2 at a rummage sale. They do sort of resemble irish dancing shoes a bit, but I'm pretty sure that they still qualify as oxfords.

I just realized that I have more shoes from Urban Outfitters than I previously thought. I ordered these at the same time as the gold wingtips, expecting to like the gold ones a lot more, but I was wrong! I've worn these way more than the gold pair. I'm not sure what it is about them that makes me love them so much; I think it's probably that they actually look a lot like men's brogues, and for some reason I seem to really like clothes that look like they were made for boys.

She's Your Cocaine

So, apparently, this is what happens when I get distracted while I'm supposed to be looking for jobs on the internet. In case you are wondering if I was really shopping for stripper clothes/accessories online, the answer is yes. There are two things that you have to realize for this to really make sense.

1. I love love love insanely trashy stuff. The trashier the better, really. And this love of trash is largely non-ironic! Amazing!
2. Stripper clothes are amazing and often fairly inexpensive. If you actually look at some of this stuff and imagine it on someone without fake tits who wears clothes more often than not, there is actually some pretty nice stuff.

Another contributing factor to my visiting this website was my perusal of the Missbehave Magazine archives. Sadly defunct, this magazine advocates the kind of life I dream of on boring Sunday afternoons. Trash, glitz, and cocaine. Not that I do cocaine, but sometimes it's fun to think about being the kind of person who does do coke.

(click to see the deets, yo)

As you can see in the cart there, if you have really good eyes, everything in there adds up to only $266.93! Cheap! The first item in there, and the one that got me there in the first place, is a lovely pair of red leather thigh high boots with a 4" heel (originally seen on the blog here) for only $63.99! Amazing! You may also have noticed the Union Jack platform ankle boot at the bottom there. If you have any taste at all, you will be envisioning a young Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice aka The Best Spice Girl of All in her Union Jack dress. Maybe she also had these boots, I'm really not sure. The point is that they are completely amazing and I sort of feel like I need them in my life, despite the fact that they have a 7.5" heel and that is way too tall for me to be if I don't want to hit my head going through door frames. The fact that they are under $60 makes them seem like a much better idea than they actually are, I'm sure.

The thing you are supposed to be looking at in this picture is the belt/waist cincher. I mean, you can look at the bra or the whip or whatever if that's your thing, but it isn't really what I had in mind. If you can imagine that belt thing over a long white t-shirt, or maybe over a floral pencil dress, you will really understand what has me so enamored. It would just be so B.A. and amazing, and I think it would be a pretty awesome way to jazz up something boring when I'm feeling blah.

I also really like this mask, but I can't think of anywhere I would actually wear it, or why I like it so much. I just do.

If you are interested, the website I found all of this on is Snaz75. They seem to have the best prices of all of the stripper websites I checked out. And yes, that does mean I was comparison shopping, what are you gonna do about it?

I think I dreamed you into life

Right, so apparently this exists in real life, not just in my dreams. Like, this is literally a dream come true; I have probably dreamed of myself wearing a sequined jumpsuit on more than one occasion. Some people might think that is kind of weird, but I really couldn't care less.
This is so amazing that I've just started singing that old Savage Garden song in my head.

Anyways, this amazing jumpsuit is from Asos's new Black label, and you can ogle it in more detail here.

You tried to put the fire out, but you used gasoline

Dear January Jones,
Fuck my life and give me that dress.

As you, dear reader, may or may not know (you most likely do not) my little sister is completely in love with Neil Patrick Harris, for obvious reasons. He is ridiculously funny. Another thing that you may or may not know is that NPH hosted the Emmys last Sunday night. Laura obvs PVR'd it, and since it's not like I had anything better to do, I watched it with her. So blah blah they were funny and whatever, but here is my point: When Mad Men won for best drama at the end (which I really don't think surprised anyone) and the cast walked on stage, I was so mesmerized with January Jones' dress that I probably spent more time looking at it than Jon Hamm's face.

In case you are somehow still unclear on what he looks like, here is a picture:

So yeah, kind of a big deal. And yes, I'll admit that I spent like twenty minutes looking at pictures of him on google images. I was trying to find one of him when he guest starred on 30 Rock and wore glasses and a plaid flannel shirt (if you know me at all, you'll understand this) but they were all kind of hideous, so I gave up. Whatever.

Stuff I like

Someone in the world might be interested to know that I've started using my tumblr again, as of today. I need somewhere to put all the ridiculous and stupid things I find on the internet every day, and I think it's really the best way.
So, if you feel like you may have an interest in a bunch of crap that most likely only interests me, then I guess you should check it out. If not, it's probably for the best. I'm sure you can find far better uses for your time, like maybe watching a video of a dog milking a goat. I don't know.

I'm from the future

I was just cleaning out some files/folders and I found this most excellent picture that I saved from who knows where absolutely ages ago. In general, this means that I wanted to blog about it (yes, I am aware that is probably the douchiest phrase in any language). So here we are!

I believe that my thoughts upon first seeing this picture were "Oh lord, where do I find that hat, or no, could I make that myself? How long would it take?" Obviously, I was smitten. Regardless of the fact that it looks like it's probably the most uncomfortable hat ever, I would rock that thing until the end of days. It's so next level it kind of hurst my head to think about it (ok, not really).

I'm pretty sure I still have loads of legos in my basement somewhere, or maybe at my cabin, so if anyone feels like taking the time out of their day(s) to build me this most excellent hat, I would totally owe you one. Or maybe more like ten. I don't know.

But really, think about it. It would be awesome.

She's just like lightning

On a scale of 1 to 10, how insane is it, really, to drop $400 on a fabulous and amazingly amazing (I know, there are no other words) pair of shoes? I want honest opinions here. 

Does it change things if you think about them almost every single day and dream about them on a regular basis, like I do these?

What if you know for a fact that if you don't buy them you'll be pining for the rest of your days?

These boots were(n't) made for walking

I went to see Watchmen tonight, and immediately upon seeing Silk Specter's costume, decided that was what I needed to be for next Halloween. So tonight when I came downstairs to "go to bed" I started looking for latex/pvc thigh highs instead of sleeping. Actually, they're something I've been on the lookout for ever since I saw them in an Agent Provocateur campaign a few months ago, but I can't seem to find them anywhere. The closest I came was stretch patent boot covers, but that just won't do! Anyhow, I got waylaid by the amazing and extensive selections of stripper shoes I found along the way.

Is it terrible how badly I want these boots? Red thigh high mid-heel boots are the things of my dreams. Seriously, I'm not joking! Even with shipping and exchange, these come up just under $100, not bad for leather boots! I'm not exactly sure what I'd wear these with yet, but I'd figure something out. Probably just hot pants and a crop top (kidding). A dress or a skirt I think. Maybe even jeans! They're just too wicked for  words.
I also find myself strangely drawn to these shoes. Who cares that if I wore these I'd be 6'6" and probably have to duck through door frames? Not me!

Interesting to note: Apparently stripper shoes are really comfortable and sturdy. I would never have thought this, but it makes sense, they are designed for dancing and/or being worn by men.

UPDATE: Further research has revealed that I was using the wrong search field in google. i was saying "pvc thigh highs" or "pvc thigh high stockings" when I should have just been putting "pvc stockings", thus avoiding all the boot results. I've found quite a few now, but these are my favorites by far, though they are a little more expensive than some of the other ones I've found, they seem like they're better quality. I'm also being drawn in to the idea of a pvc pencil skirt, and at the moment actually believing that I would wear one, when in reality that would never happen.